Offense
A few weeks ago in my time with the Lord, I was reading in Matthew 13. I read this sentence…
“… and they were deeply offended and refused to believe him.”
The people of Nazareth had preconceived ideas about who the Messiah would be. They couldn’t get past their own assumptions or opinions. And, ultimately, this led to unbelief.
Even with the Messiah standing right in front of them.
Even though they’d seen and heard of miracles.
Even though they’d experienced his teachings and wisdom.
Offense doesn’t just stay as offense in a little compartmentalized box. It grows. It takes on other forms. It shows up in other places. It distorts reality. It plants seeds of bitterness, anger, judgment, etc. In this case in Matthew, the people chose offense, and it choked out belief. Offense produced unbelief. Unbelief clouded what was actually true.
The definition of offense is ‘'annoyance or resentment brought about by a perceived insult to or disregard for oneself or one's standards or principles.”
Annoyance. Resentment. Perceived.
Those are important words in there.
As followers of Christ, we cannot build a home for offense to live in. We have to make that choice.
Two things have been helpful for me in this area:
Ask “What is the story I’m telling myself here?” If words or an expression from someone cause me to bristle, I have to ask that question. What is the story I’m believing about this, and is it true? If it’s true, then I’ll need to take steps towards conflict resolution. If it’s a story I’ve concocted (which is more than likely the case) or if my reaction is due to my own wounding in area that has not been healed, then that’s my work to do.
A friend/mentor gave me this picture once and it has helped me visualize what can happen in my brain as I work through offense, hurt feelings, etc. Allow the thing — whatever it is — to be placed on the table in front of you. Don’t immediately take and receive and wear all that is thrown in your direction. Let it fall onto the table in front of you. Look at it, examine it, ask the question I mentioned above. And then decide how to move forward.
I’m determined to continue learning and growing in this area because when you look at what the opposite of offense is, you find these words: joyful, content, grateful. Those are the things I want for myself and for the people around me.
So let’s ask: Where am I easily offended? Where am I offended by God, by the person of Jesus, by the Holy Spirit, by other people? Let those offenses lead us somewhere productive — towards helpful conversations, healing, truth, and freedom.