Go with the strength you have.

On March 20, 2020, this is what I wrote in my journal:

“We are on the Friday of spring break and in the middle of this coronavirus. It’s unlike anything many of us have ever seen. School is shut down and we won’t go back until April 6. Churches are closed. Businesses are closed. Restaurants only offer drive-through or curbside. Shelves are empty at the grocery stores. We are strongly suggested to stay home.“

As it turns out, April 6, 2020 was not a return to school. While my kids did start back with a blended schedule in August, today is the first day they returned to school for 4 days a week. It feels like a first day back. And I can’t believe we made it. 

In Judges, Gideon was the unlikely hero. His clan was the weakest and he was the least in his family. But he was who God had chosen. God told him, “Go with the strength you have.”

I had a very small amount of strength and grace and patience walking into homeschooling in March 2020. I did not feel qualified. But it was in the process of walking it out that God equipped me. He gave me the tools I needed along the way.

As I look back on my life, I see this pattern. I accept a job or walk into a new role or take on a new task that feels a little impossible or overwhelming. And yet, God equips me in the process. Today, I walk in God-confidence in certain things that when I first stepped into them, I hardly had any confidence at all. 

It’s not about us and what we can do. Yes, God has gifted us with abilities and passions. But if it were up to us and if we were capable, we would totally miss out on the surprising provision of God and his resources and his problem-solving. We miss out on miracles when we do it all ourselves, rely on our own strength, or refuse to step into new things because we aren’t “ready.”

Sometimes we have to trust and go with what we have. Go with the strength we have, as small as it may seem. God, with his Kingdom resources, is faithful and will fill in the gaps.