Layer by Layer
All year God has been continuously inviting me into deeper waters, riskier places, and more freedom. And I’ve been trying to follow. This song happened after one of these risks. I felt overcome by emotion, so I came inside to my piano and pressed record. In many ways, it sums up my year.
(The original recording was full of pauses and moments of indistinguishable sing-crying. I listened and transcribed what I did and re-recorded the whole thing just as it happened the first time. That’s this version I’m sharing with you.)
It was in singing this song that I decided that my word for 2021 is PLAY. We lose some of our ability to play as adults, and we have to re-learn it or allow ourselves to do it. What can play look like? To be really happy and excited about something and show it. To do something weird or new in front of people (and maybe even be terrible at it). To follow through with something even if rejection is possible. To enjoy things that may not “produce” or “accomplish” anything. To create things for fun. To have hobbies. To give your time to projects that won’t offer you a dime in return. To be vulnerable in new ways with people you’ve known for what feels like forever. To be our full selves at all times with all people in all situations.
I watch my children and the way they play. They aren’t calculated. They aren’t aware of all the possible responses in the room. They aren’t worried about whether or not their play brings them closer to their goals for the day. They are just who they are in that moment, enjoying the fullness of that moment.
In 2020, I learned that taking risks produced more trust in God, more joy, more strength, and more play. And now, in 2021, I want even more of all of that, and I know God is not done!
This song is called “Layer by Layer,” and I invite you to listen to it in its entirety. Get alone in a quiet space and mediate on God and who he is. Ask him to speak. Ask him what he thinks about you, what he says about you. Peeling back the layers can feel painful, scary, exposing ... but freedom, joy, faith, boldness, and truly being known are waiting on the other side.