What's in front of you?

I’ve been making up songs since I was a little girl. I spent car rides narrating in sing-song everything I saw outside of my window. But I wrote my first “real song” with some friends in 9th grade. “Through this life, we travel on a journey,” were the opening lyrics, so basically it was exactly what you would expect a first song to sound like.

From there and on into college, my notebooks began filling up. Although I had dreams of singing my songs in front of people, I stayed private about my music and had resolved that that was the way it was going to be. But there was this strange fight inside of me at all times — I want to share my music so badly but I absolutely do not want to share my music. It wasn’t a shy thing, but, rather, an identity thing.

Could I actually consider myself a songwriter? Could I actually be a musician worth listening to? Are these things actually true of me? What if they’re not?

Out of college, I began writing more. As I walked through various life experiences — anxiety, motherhood, disappointment, loss — songs began pouring out. And with that came a different and new kind of weight I felt developing. In the summer of 2017, it was very obvious to me that it was time to get over myself and start sharing my songs. No more excuses.

With fear and trembling, I posted a clip of a song I had written on Facebook and Instagram that summer. Behind the scenes, my sweet friends were sending encouraging texts and cheering me on. Although I was terrified, I knew it was the way forward.

3 years later, it hardly fazes me to click that “share” button when letting another new clip of a song into the world. Of course, that’s not because I think what I’m offering is totally awesome or the best thing ever. But it’s because I have finally accepted that I have something I have to share. It’s part of my responsibility while I’m here. And the joy I get when someone feels understood or sees God in a new way because of what I wrote is not something I can measure or really put into words. It’s worth whatever risk it took to put it out there.

So we start with what’s in front of us, right? And what was in front of me in 2017 was social media. I was in the thick of raising babies. I didn’t have access or resources to spend time in a studio, but I could take 15 minutes to record something, write about it, and post it.

What’s in front of you? Maybe you’re not in a “recording a full length album in a studio” season. Maybe you’re in a “post a clip to social media” season. (And hopefully this is clear, but I’m not just referring to this as it pertains to music.) You have something to offer. Maybe it’s a song. Maybe it’s a book or a piece of art. Maybe you want to host a fancy dinner party for your friends. Maybe it’s finally going back to school to get that degree (or second degree) you’ve dreamed of. Or taking that certification test so you can start practicing your craft.

I’m telling you — all of this matters. The world needs you to do your thing.